Emotional abuse

Emotional Abuse

This week I wanted to talk about emotional abuse by a partner.  In my opinion this is often an overlooked and misunderstood subject.  I don't remember hearing about emotional abuse in the media or at school as a child but I surely witnessed it along the lines in many different ways.  Emotional abuse can affect anyone be it man or woman although women seem to be more subjected to all forms of abuse than men.  Emotional or psychological abuse can be present in all walks of life and any socioeconomic status.
Emotional abuse doesn't leave bruises or physical signs that can be observed by the naked eye.  Often times emotional abuse is excused or dismissed because either the victim doesn't understand what is happening, the perpetrator is brain-washing her, or those around her cannot see the mental impact with their own eyes.

Being aware of the signs of psychological abuse is the first step toward stopping it.  The following questions were taken from the website www.helpguide.org to assist people with determining whether or not they have a problem that should be dealt with.

The more answers of "yes" to theses questions the higher the likelihood is that there is psychological abuse occurring-

• Do you feel afraid of your partner?
• Do you avoid talking about certain topics with your partner to keep the peace?
• Do you feel like you just can't do anything right?
• Do you believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
• Do you often times wonder if you're crazy?

• Does your partner yell, degrade or humiliate you?
• Does your partner put you down?
• Does your partner treat you so badly that you're embarrassed your friends or family may see?
• Does your partner lie to you or withhold information?
• Does your partner ignore you or demean your opinions or accomplishments?
• Does your partner blame you for their bad behavior?
• Does your partner see you as a form of property or as a sex object?

Some other things to look for are low self-esteem (especially when it used to be high), personality changes, depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations.

If you are or know of someone who is being emotionally abused there are many resources available to go to for help both local and on-line.  It's important to pay attention to the signs, ask about it and listen to the person talking about it to provide support.  Another important thing to remember is that if there are children involved they can be greatly affected as well and often times become abusers or victims themselves.