I've often asked myself the same question over and over....would my kids have been better off if i waited to have them when I was older and wiser and richer? I don't know. I was young and dumb and thought everything would work out but if I would have waited things would definately have been different.
There are pros and cons to practically every situation you can think of. Focusing on the positive seems to be the conclusive winner in my particular situation. You can feel guilty all day about the fact that you didn't have a five course meal on the table every night for dinner and your house wasn't showcased in the next Home and Garden magazine or you couldn't pay for your kids college when they turned eighteen. On the other-hand, when your children know how to cook food from scratch because they figured it out, they know how to do their own laundry and are capable of performing basic activities of daily living and maybe had to work a part-time job to finish their associates degree at the community college they may just have gained some life knowledge.
Sometimes we do good, other times we mess up. It's all a part of life and learning and what you make of it. If you have the knowledge to make good decisions then that's great. If you have to learn the hard way sometimes that is a blessing in disguise. There is always a choice.
We're childless and currently trying to conceive, and my wife and I are both mid-30s. We had time before this, but kept saying "we're not ready, we're not ready." Now, of course, I'm anxious - what if we waited too long? What if the kid is 15 and I can't run around with them?
ReplyDeleteYou're never ready; you just jump in and learn as you go. There are some stresses that you're more prepared for at a later age - more of your OWN development is sorted through - but I don't think anyone has it easy, whenever they start out.
Hi Marci!
ReplyDeleteI also have this "What if" mentality at times, I had my son when I was fairly young and sometimes I wish I would have waited until I finished school and had better financial stability. But, like Ben stated, "you just learn as you go" and kind of hope for the best. I know my son is blossoming in all the areas of life where he should, and that is what really matters to me.
I love how you stated that some people may feel guilty for not having a five-course-meal on their table everynight but then flipped it about learning some "life knowledge." I think everyone has their own worries when becoming a parent. "Am I doing this right?" seems to be a common question (I even still ask my mother this at times) and although we would all like an answer to that, I really feel there is no concrete way for that to be determined. You just have to know you're doing the best you can, and go with the flow! :)
Great Blog!